“Nothing,” the Lions said. “We haven’t done anything for you lately.”
“That’s right, nothing but let me down,” I replied.
“And because of that, I am going to have to let you go,” I said. “Year after year you build up my emotions during August and September, only to leave me pulling out my hair come the end of December. Even when the face of your franchise, Barry Sanders, was still running wild against opposing defenses, you gave me and other fans very little to cheer about. One playoff appearance since 1991? No winning season since 2000? What do you have to say to that?”
“Nothing,” the Lions replied.
“As expected,” I said.
Dear William Clay Ford & the Detroit Lions Franchise,
The last eight years have been an emotional roller coaster for all of us. Hell, the last 10-plus years have been nothing short of a disappointment. Rays of hope, signs of better times for the future, and many other somewhat exciting happenings have all led to shattered dreams.
Losing season after losing season, come each December I have put the previous season’s letdown behind me and looked forward to the next year. When August rolled around, I would get excited that you and the team would finally turn things around, put together a winning season and make the playoffs. It has become a disheartening routine, and frankly I can’t take it anymore.
Since obviously you are incapable of doing so, I must move on without you.
Let this be my official resignation as a fan of the Detroit Lions. I cannot go on any longer supporting a franchise that does not support me and other fans. The marriage we have had for the last 23 years has been a sour one, and I have put too much faith on wishful thinking hoping that tomorrow will be a better day. Your history-making season that ended yesterday put the cherry on top of the Sunday (no, not sundae, Sunday), and it pushed me over the breaking point and I have to let you go.
Should you decide to turn things around in the future, I wish the best of luck to you, but I will not be there alongside you with my support. This off-season I will be taking applications for a new team, and once said team is adopted, I have just one thing to say to you: See you in the playoffs! (oh, wait…)
Your Former Fan,
Christopher R. Schanz